The Rooster

Now, I’m usually positive with these entries because most everything I experience here is overwhelmingly positive. But clearly this blog offers a venting aspect, and I intend, from time to time, to exercise that. Plus, I miss Wyatt’s humor so much that I may as well try to fill that void, even if my attempt pales in comparison:

My neighbors have this rooster, along with about 20 chickens next door. Obviously this guy is busy, but in line with his other biological instincts he has the urge to crow at random intervals throughout the day. Now, I learned long ago that contrary to portrayals in cartoons and movies, this random crowing is normal behavior. What isn’t normal is that this one has a distinctive, descended groan that really grates in the ears. It’s like: “COCKADOODLEDOOOUUURRGRRRGHRRRGHH.” Over and over. Try it a few times and you’ll see what I mean. Awful.

So at sunup I hear not that romantic crowing sound we all associate with a peaceful waking from a restful night’s sleep, but to this sickening, gurgling, choking groan. And at lunchtime. And dinner. Before bed. And anytime in between; that same terrible croaking. And always I wait…hoping, maybe, it cleared its gizzard, or something to spare me. But no. Certainly not.

In fact, I’m willing to bet it has some sickness because it’s been getting worse. Not only do you have the groaning, gurgling, choking sound, but now the thing GASPS at the end, just the way you do when you come up for air after swimming a pool length. And since these chickens are free range and not penned (as the PC promotes), I get the noise right outside my bedroom window. And it repeats. Over. And over.

I’m considering clearing my lesson plans to move the whole ‘penned animals’ concept to the forefront. My neighbor’s rooster is looking like a suitable victim, er- volunteer.